Wing Man
THE SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL announced that Florida KFC’s were giving the venerable deep-fried, biscuit-eatin' chicken icon Colonel Harlan Sanders a face lift. All the better to reel in the younger customers, my dear. As if the 18-to-35 demographic ever needed an added enticement to scarf down junk food.
Company spokeswoman Bonnie Warschauer explains, “Yum! Brands Inc., which operates the fried-chicken restaurants, is testing a more youthful version of Sander’s image and bringing back the Kentucky Fried Chicken name to 50 stores that it’s opening.” Ask yourself: just how buff do you want the Colonel to be? What’s the proper BMI to attract a new generation of iPod zombie gravy-slurpers?
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE THE DAPPER Colonel would have thought about the cosmetic marketing surgery? He’s been on the long dirt nap since 1980, but it’s not hard to imagine his disdain. Heublein Inc., who bought KFC in 1964, unsuccessfully sued Sanders in 1975 for libel after the string-tied founder publicly referred to their gravy as “sludge” with a “wallpaper taste.”
Note to all those who think the best in life is behind them: the Colonel started his franchise at age sixty-six, using his first Social Security check to fund junkets for potential franchisees. Sanders worked until he died at the ripe old age of ninety. He wasn’t afraid of a few wrinkles, and I’ll bet you eleven herbs and spices that he’s whirling in his grave.
Posted by Loyd at December 19, 2009 04:53 PM
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